I can’t taste the electricity, you said through
swollen lips; they look like mine, puffed,
raw, and chapped from the wind my teeth gnashed at.
I followed the icy tendrils through parked
cars and power lines. That’s where I found you, gnawing on Styrofoam cups.
We dared each other to fill our vacant bodies with
the other’s fingers. But you were still hungry, our stomachs
still bubbling with anxious acids.
We both climbed poles.
I found light bulbs atop mine.
They lacked the essential flavors of pepper and salt,
they still smelled of factory grease.
You found black ropes, city vines, suspended from cables.
They tasted uncooked and oily, you told me.
I can’t even taste the electricity, you told me.
Also: I think adding some splashes of color in the grey-ness of this poem would be really lovely.
Some random minor edits to the poem:
I can’t taste the electricity, you say through
swollen lips; they look like mine: puffed,
raw, chapped from the wind and my gnashing teeth.
I follow icy tendrils through parked
cars and power lines - that’s where I find you,
gnawing on Styrofoam cups.
We dare each other to fill our vacant bodies with
the other’s fingers.
But you are still hungry,
our stomachs still bubbling with anxious acids.
We both climb poles.
I find light bulbs atop mine.
They lack the essential flavors of pepper and salt,
they still smell of factory grease.
You find black ropes, city vines, suspended from cables.
This ending: fabulous!
They tasted uncooked and oily, you told me.
I can’t even taste the electricity, you told me.
My favorite line:
"We dared each other to fill our vacant bodies with
the other’s fingers. But you were still hungry,"
I mean, dang. it's like you stuck your hand in my chest and squeezed my heart. Absolutely perfect
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